That said, a signal that a break might be helpful is when one person’s mental health is suffering, and they can’t differentiate whether it’s the relationship or themselves that’s the root cause of their psychological issues, says Skyler. TL DR, instead of seeking ways to be apart after cheating, couples should reconnect-whether that’s through couples therapy or talking through the relationship’s issues one-on-one, Skyler notes. In short, you’re running away from your problems instead of addressing them head on. It’s a hard period for the couple, but if you take a break at this point, you’re almost ensuring divorce or separation," she explains. "I think there’s a lot the couple needs to work through together at that time. In those cases, you should be upfront with your partner about how you're feeling-it's likely you need a more permanent fix to your problem.įor example, if you want to take a break so you can admonish your partner for infidelity, you might want to think twice, says Jenni Skyler, PhD, an AASECT certified sex therapist, sexologist, and Director of The Intimacy Institute. A break is not the answer if you are just too afraid to end the relationship, definitely know you want to see other people, or are seeking to punish your partner for whatever reason. "Breaks must be done with clear rules and for the right reasons," says Spector.
So, when should I take a break in a relationship? Does one person depend on the other financially? Are there kids in the picture? Is this a long-distance relationship? The nitty-gritty makes all the difference and must be *seriously* considered beforehand or else the break might just turn into a break up. The way you carve out time away from your partner totally depends on the kind of the relationship you’re in. In Spector’s experience, couples usually realize it is.īut remember: Relationship breaks are not one-size-fits-all (because that would just be too easy). Breaks allow couples to see the partnership from a new perspective, acknowledge personal doubts and wrongdoings, determine changes that need to be made (like perhaps one person is putting in more effort than the other), and then decide if the relationship is worth continuing. You might also decide to get back together.Īnd although separation is much easier said than done, it’s essential to what Spector calls a "relationship renovation," or a chance to break unhealthy patterns. Yes, it could lead to a full-on breakup or even divorce, but only if that's what you decide you want. Then-and only then-can you determine which is better. to take a significant amount of time to weigh how you feel being separated versus how you feel together.
#Should we take a break how to#
Here's How To Set Boundaries In Your Relationshipīreaks are for partners who care about each other, but can’t see eye-to-eye for some reason.
Attaching yourself to another person-while it might work for some-can be the perfect setup for a toxic relationship down the road, especially if there are disagreements you can’t seem to let go of. "So many couples think a healthy relationship means being together all the time, but that’s not true," says Spector. Wait, what exactly is a relationship break?įYI: Taking a break is a temporary chance for people in a relationship to explore what not being together feels like, spend time on personal growth, and look at their relationship from a distance. But if you want more information on breaks, how to handle one in the best way possible, what boundaries to set, and more, this relationship expert-informed guide will help you navigate uncharted territory in your relationship: Ideally, this break is just that: a break. "It’s just a designated amount of time where both people are consenting to limited communication." Basically, if the concept of a break is stressing you out, know that it doesn’t have to be overcomplicated, your relationship can remain exclusive and, most importantly, there’s an end date.
Remember, though: "Taking a break doesn’t mean it’s the end of a relationship," explains Janet Brito, PhD, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in Honolulu.
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